It is all in the programming!!! not sure how I got what I did b4 - I guess I just confused OBI.
That got it - I just pointed all to sp1 on the 100 and added **4 to cover all cases of dialing out.
In case anyone else is watching, this is what I ended up with.......
The goal was to have my OBI100 function as an extra handset ala an OBI202.
I can dial from the OBI100 handset via any number on the OBI200 whether it is busy or not.
I select the line using **1, **2, **3, **4, or no **x defaults to sp4.
I can answer a call on the OBI100 (the OBI100 handset also rings) whether that line is busy or not on the OBI200
The 200 is programmed with all 4 lines.
I reset the 100 by deleting and re-adding in OBITALK dashboard
I changed the following items only
OBi100
Voice Services -> OBiTalk Service -> InboundCallRoute: ph
Physical Interfaces -> Phone Port -> Digimap:
([1-9]x?*(Mpli)|[1-9]S9|[1-9][0-9]S9|911|**0|***|#|**1(Msp1)|**2(Msp1)|**3(Msp1)|**4(Msp1)|**9(Mpp)|(Mpli))
Physical Interfaces -> Phone Port -> OutboundCallRoute:
{***:aa2},{(<500111111*>@@.):pp}
Replace 500111111 with the OBi Number of the OBi200
OBi200
Voice Services -> SP1 Service -> InboundCallRoute: ph,pp(300111111)
Voice Services -> SP2 Service -> InboundCallRoute: ph,pp(300111111)
Voice Services -> SP3 Service -> InboundCallRoute: ph,pp(300111111)
Voice Services -> SP4 Service -> InboundCallRoute: ph,pp(300111111)
Voice Services -> OBiTalk Service -> InboundCallRoute:
{300111111>(<**1:>xx.):sp1},{300111111>(<**2:>xx.):sp2},{300111111>(<**3:>xx.):sp3},{300111111>(<**4:>xx.):sp4},{sp4}
Replace 300111111 with the OBi number of the OBi100
thanks to azrobert and drgeoff