Sending DTMF tones over an in-progress call has always had its share of problems because the voice stream is converted from analog to digital and then back again. One way to do it is to just send the tones like voice which is called In-Band. Other out-of-band protocols have been developed over the years, INFO was the first developed and then RFC2833. Both INFO and RFC2833 protocols send descrite digital out-of-band packets for the tones. RFC2833 is also sometimes called AVT.
RFC2833 is usually the preferred method to send the tones, however sometime the other protocols work better. You need to try them all with the destinations you call to decide which works best for you.
XLite has DTMF settings under Preferences --> Calls. If you are having a problem, I would try them all to find out which is the most reliable technique for your environment.
XLite settings:
RFC2833
INFO
In-Band
RRC2833 and SIP INFO
In-band and SIP INFO