I experienced the all the same things you have reported, so I would say they are normal... unfortunately.
For #3, you can always back up your configuration locally using the web server on your OBi device. As azrobert points out, you can later import this into OBiTalk to ensure the two are in sync. (He suggests using the "OBi Version" of backup when you do this.) This worked for me, in the sense that after having done so OBiTalk didn't wipe out my existing programming after I then allowed it to update my device, but it was problematic: The non-default values were marked as "changed" (red exclamation point), but no value was displayed for them while in OBiTalk Expert Mode.
I personally find OBiTalk confusing, especially once I had several devices -- and as you point out, certain functions just don't work for me (always "try again later") -- so I use it to set up GV, after which I disable OBiTalk AutoProvisioning on the device and make my further changes via the device's web interface.